#23 The Good, Bad & Ugly of Finding Your Power at Work

THAT MOMENT WHEN YOU WONDER

• “I cannot just take the stand I want - even though that decision offended everything I care for!”

• “I cannot just tell people the truths of what I was really thinking, feeling and wanting.”
  “If I speak up, I could lose my job! I still have a mortgage to pay.” (positional power, resource power)

• “If I take a stand, I’ll offend X, Y and Z! Do you know what they can do to me? Do you know what they have done for me?”

• “If I share my doubts, my peers might not respect my opinions anymore. They might keep me out of the loop.” 

…you’re in the Good, Bad & Ugly of Finding Your Power at Work.

THINK // 3 insights from the field

😇 THE GOOD THING is we all actually have power at work - whether we want it, know it or like it.

THE FIRST 5 TYPES OF POWER ARE THE MOST WELL-KNOWN.
THEY ARE ALL ABOUT “WHAT I HAVE RELATIVE TO OTHERS”.

1. POSITIONAL POWER:
What can I do with the authority and legitimacy given to me simply because I have a formal position or title within a recognised organisation?

2. RESOURCE POWER:
What can I get with what money, real estate, budget, manpower etc. resources I have on hand?

3. EXPERTISE POWER:
Who will listen to me because of my specialised skills and deep professional knowledge?

4. INFORMATION POWER:
Who will want to hear from me because of my unusual lived experiences that has given me unique information people are keen to know?

5. NETWORK POWER:
Who are my contacts across different sectors and positions with resources, expertise & information?

THE NEXT 2 TYPES OF POWER TEND TO COME WITH THE FIRST 5. THEY ARE ALL ABOUT “WHAT I CAN DO FOR/TO OTHERS.

6. COERCIVE POWER:
What might others fear that I can do to them that I must acknowledge so I can wield the power ethically, respectfully and strategically?

7. REWARD POWER:
What might others wish that I can do for them that I must acknowledge so I can wield the power ethically, respectfully and strategically?

THE FINAL 2 TYPES OF POWER ARE THE LEAST UNDERSTOOD BUT MOST “AFFORDABLE”. THIS IS ABOUT “WHO I AM INDEPENDENT OF OTHERS”.

8. MORAL POWER:
What “do or die” values (e.g. honesty, mutual respect, environmental care etc.) are so significant to me that I am willing to take a public stand on - even in the face of potential loss and risk of standing alone?

9. PRESENCE POWER:
What are the empowering thoughts, feelings, actions, fears and concerns I am willing to make present in the spaces I am in - even in the face of potential loss and risk of standing alone?

When you are willing to put yourself out there, standing on things that are real and significant, you step into power that comes from within you.

Moral power and presence power is so under-rated and most worth cultivating because out of all the powers, nobody can take your internal ability to stand on your morals or make present your thoughts away from you.

Sometimes there is nothing more intimidating and powerful than watching someone without much external power suddenly rise up to share what they know is true and right.

🤬 THE BAD THING about power is it can be really inconvenient, uncomfortable and difficult to exercise.

This is especially true for moral power and presence power that requires you to face the possibility of having to stand independent of others - be different and alone if necessary.

You may have been in situations where you felt

• “I cannot just take the stand I want - even though that decision offended everything I care for!” (moral power).

• “I cannot just tell people the truths of what I was really thinking, feeling and wanting.”(presence power)

The hard truth to acknowledge is you actually can take that stand, you actually can state the truth.

That power is in your hands but you may have chosen not to exercise that power in the moment. And it’s understandable.

Perhaps you are reluctant to pay it because you worry it could cost you all the other forms of power given to you by the environment.

• “If I speak up, I could lose my job! I still have a mortgage to pay.” (positional power, resource power)

• “If I take a stand, I’ll offend X, Y and Z! Do you know what they can do to me? Do you know what they have done for me?” (network power, reward power, coercive power)

• “If I share my doubts, my peers might not respect my opinions anymore. They might keep me out of the loop.” (expert power, information power)

Exercising moral and presence power is costly.

There is a high price to be paid for it.

But NOT exercising your moral and presence power over time is even more costly.

The price is your moral integrity and sense of personal identity.

Keeping what is important to you unknown to everyone else can lead to feelings of distress and lower personal, relational and job satisfaction over time.

The psychological and emotional distress lies in having to constantly think about all the significant information you are concealing from others.

It bothers you because it is significant to you and you want it known.

You know it deserves to be known.

You know you deserve to be known.

When you make known to diverse people the values, perspectives, feelings and actions that you care about, it is an act of personal power.

You feel more powerful because you are treating yourself as a person who belongs at the table.

Even if others choose to treat you as someone who does not belong, by establishing your presence there, you are telling others: the power to decide whether I have worthiness in this space does not only belong to you, it also belongs to me.

😈 THE UGLY THING everyone says about power is that power corrupts. And if power goes unchallenged for too long, it absolutely can.

And that is part of the reason why we ALL need to learn how to BOTH step up our power and step it down so others can rise.

Sometimes we are the more powerful that needs to be humble enough to receive a challenge. Sometimes we are the less powerful that needs to be brave enough to extend the challenge.

Power is neutral. Power need not be ugly.

Power can be inspiring and even beautiful to watch especially when it is wielded in a way that fights back against the ugly use of power.

There are 2 ugly ways of wielding power: Power-Over and Power-Under

1. Power-Over is overt use of power through violence, forceful coercion, domination and other obvious forms of control. It motivates largely through fear to help protect a power figure. At work, it can look like grandiose, intimidating, aggressive and punitive colleagues, managers or leaders. Power-over cows people or creates resistance and incites rebellion.

2. Power-Under is covert use of power through manipulation, quiet coercion and other subtle forms of control. It motivates largely through shame and blame to help protect a power figure. At work, it can look like manipulative, passive-aggressive, creepy and too-close-for-comfort colleagues, managers or leaders. Power-under confuses people or creates inner circle-outer circle dynamics.

We have to counter such ugly uses of power with 3 more productive ways of wielding power: Power-Within, Power-With, Power-To

1. Power-Within is your capacity to respect the differences in others while respecting the value of your own values, thoughts, feelings, actions. It is the self-confidence to give and receive respectful challenges to power. This is you tapping into your moral power and presence power.

2. Power-With is the act of sharing power in a collaborative way - assertive and cooperative at the same time. It comes from mutual respect, mutual support and mutual empowerment. Power-with sets up the possibility for true collective action and teamwork.

3. Power-To is the act of giving power to someone else so they can exercise their presence, maintain their own agency and their unique potential to make a difference.

FEEL // 2 links to help you feel less alone

WATCH / LISTEN Common Ground’s podcast episode “Step Into Your Power”, where I talk to Brendan Seah, a community builder who started out in engineering, made transitions across different sectors, working with different teams and finding his own version of power.

READ Brene Brown’s article unpacking more about what Power-Over, Power-Within/To/With looks like:

DO // 1 strategy to try this week

The next time you watch an interaction at work…

NOTICE IF POWER IS USED IN POTENTIALLY UGLY WAYS

1. Is there Power-Over? Any overt use of power through violence, forceful coercion, domination and other obvious forms of control? Any grandiosity and intimidation on display?

2. Is there Power-Under? Any covert use of power through manipulation, quiet coercion and other subtle forms of control? Any creepy, too-close-for-comfort behaviour on display?

INTERVENE BY USING POWER IN MORE PRODUCTIVE WAYS

• Try Power-Within: Can I show I respect the differences in others while respecting the value of my own values, thoughts, feelings, actions?

  • e.g.: “Thank you for sharing your view. It is different from mine and Jane’s - and that is OK. I would like to share how I see things now….”
    

• Try Power-With: Can I share power in a collaborative way - assertive and cooperative at the same time?

  • e.g.: “I would like all of us here to feel safe to state our differing perspectives. I would request that we do so respectfully and give each other a chance to speak fully without interruption.”
    

• Try Power-To: Can I give power to someone else so they can exercise their presence, agency and potential to make a difference?

  • e.g.: “While I share my views, I also want to invite Jane to share hers. Jane, please go first if you are ready. If anyone else from the team would also like to add something, please take the floor as well.”